Long Overdue, An Opinion on Tiger

For as long as this Tiger Woods deal has been a story (since about Thanksgiving), I've wanted nothing more than to keep my hands off of it.  Newman wanted to write about it.  I did not.  We had the following conversation via Facebook messages earlier this week:


Newman: "We need to write something bout TWoods.  This is sad."
Mitch: "It really is, but I don't feel like it's my place."
Newman: "We're writers.  It's our job to give an opinion on it."
Newman: "Made-up job, but still."
Mitch: "Haha...fake job indeed.  Can my opinion be that it's none of my fucking business?
Newman: "But here is the "greatest athlete of our generation" and his life is in shambles...there has to be an opinion from a fan's point of view."
Mitch: "You write it.  I'll respond in some manner."


So you can see my opinion on this topic.  But Newman's response was to post an article that was already written by Bill Simmons.  That's a huge cop-out for both of us, and I'm quite certain it's also completely illegal, no matter how much attribution we give the Sports Guy.

But on Friday, Tiger Woods made the kind of Earth-shattering decision that I just feel I had to comment on.  What men and women do in their private lives is their own business.  I myself can't comprehend how you could cheat on a Swedish supermodel.  I'm thinking, "Dude!  She's a Swedish supermodel! You're married to quite possibly the hottest world stereotype.  You can have sex with her whenever you want.  And...it's not enough?"


Apparently not, but as I said, I'm not here to judge what a man does in his private life.


She was a Swedish nanny who also happened to have done some modeling. Supermodel? No. And not sure why this figures into all this. Men and women both cheat and I am sure those reasons are limited to or have much to do with looks. Show me the best looking girl you know and I'll show you the guy whose tired of f**king her. It's just a fact and anyone who has been in a relationship long enough can tell you. New is alluring. New is exciting. And it has nothing to do with anything other than being something different than what you're used to. The sad truth is Tiger has been a womanizer since before this marriage. That's who he is and who he has been and the media and fans haven't cared because he is so damn great at what he does and he also has kept a tight lid on his privacy.


My problem is with Tiger making the decision to take "an indefinite leave" from golf.


Follow me down the path of twisted truth and logic.


One of my cameramen and I were discussing this earlier this week before Tiger had made the announcement.  He said, "I think Tiger should just quit golf.  He should just take his billion dollars and go into investments.  Build himself a golf course on his own private island, watch his money grow, and just get away from all this."


I countered by saying that that is the exact wrong decision for Tiger.  Anyone who's ever had a long term relationship knows that when things fall apart as they inevitably do, you have two options: 1) sit and sulk 2) or get back to work and try to act like everything's fine.  Option 1 never works.  You sit around thinking about how much happier you used to be and wondering "Why me?"  You listen to songs like "Anything" by the Plain White Ts and "Romeo and Juliet" by Dire Straits.  You marvel at the fact that every singer/songwriter seems to be speaking directly either to you or to the one who hurt you, completely ignoring the fact that how you feel is totally unoriginal and cliche (that's why all the songs are about you.  because they're not).


Pretty sure Tiger isn't taking this break to "sit and sulk". He is doing it because golf, his job, is not that important in the great scheme of things. Tiger needs to fix himself and what he can of his family and marriage. It would be disgusting for him to trot back on a golf course and start playing when you know things aren't right. His fortune affords him the opportunity to concentrate on what should be important to him, and by indefinitely taking a leave from the game we know he loves and know he dominants, he is taking a step in the right direction.


When you get back to work, on the other hand, you remember that you are a person independent of your former lover.  You keep your head down, ignore those feelings, and eventually they go away and don't come out until you shoot up your work place 5 years later (I will NEVER do this, in case the FBI is reading).  But seriously, getting back to work is the best way to put any sort of tragedy behind you psychologically.  That's the entire premise of the HBO documentary 9 Innings from 9/11.  The whole point is that after an incredible assault and initial shock, baseball got things back to normal for this country (well, sports in general) and unquestionably gave us something to rally around in order to move forward.


I don't think it is a very fair comparison to equate baseball returning after 9/11 to Tiger Woods returning to golf. Sports gave Americans hope and an ease of mind after a national tragedy. Tiger returning to golf would do what exactly? Why would this be a rallying point right now? Phil Mickelson took a break from golf to focus on his family when his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. Right move. When things aren't right at home or in your personal life you need to take care of that first. Not play a game.It would be incredibly disingenuous for him to start playing even remotely soon.

By deciding to take an indefinite leave from golf, Tiger is taking option #1 (false) to sit around and sulk and concentrate on fixing that he has broken.  But again, anybody who has been through a big time breakup knows that hopes to completely reconcile never work.  "A crumpled up paper can't be perfect again," wrote Linkin Park, and they're right.  In Tiger's case, that "crumpled up paper" is actually crumpled up, then shredded, then shredded again, then covered in hydrochloric acid, then strapped to a pack of C-4 and detonated.  That paper will NEVER be perfect again.  His marriage is done and he's likely screwed up his kids lives as well as his own bank account (the former obviously being the more important, I'm just saying).  


For as long as Tiger kept his comments and actions private from the media, he had kept his head above the fray.  Maddening as it is for a media personality such as myself to say this, the best way to handle a crisis like this is to basically say nothing and assert that only you hold the facts and that the rest of the world is only speculating on something about which they know nothing.  If all the world is against you, you can still fall back on, "I have said everything I can say about this situation.  I would appreciate the media respecting my privacy as I try to repair the damage that has been done to my life."


As someone who studied public relations, this couldn't be a more stupid move. Tiger has handled this horribly. By avoiding the media and not showing your face you feed the frenzy. You feed the rumors and you give the impression, fair or not, of guilt. What is definitively "true" doesn't mean shit if the public believes otherwise. Pete Rose didn't admit to gambling for 20 years and has paid the price. Barry Bonds is still paying the price even though he has yet to be convicted of ever using any performance enhancing drugs. Alex Rodriguez came out after his name was released and admitted to using steroids (even though he didn't admit to extent of his alleged use) and look now? No one cared at the end of the year. Fans and human beings alike want to see contrite, they want to see someone sorry for their actions because we know deep down athletes are human. We are eager to forgive. By releasing impersonal statements on a website and walling himself off from the world, people have no idea of Tiger's sincerity. We need to see it. Not read it. 


But as soon as Tiger announced that he'd be taking an indefinite leave from the sport, he confirmed everything the media and tabloids had been saying for weeks. (Oh his messages and voicemails didn't confirm this? Actually the silence is what confirmed it.)  Without Tiger as a public presence to continue to deny or at least ask for privacy as he continues to win tournaments (Mitch you aren't getting privacy when you're playing public golf tournaments, making public appearances, and not commenting on an issue such as this at your press conferences), he's opened himself (his silence opened him up, his infidelity opened him up, the car crash opened him up...not this) up for the jackals at TMZ, US WEEKLY, People, and any other trash journalists to rip him apart like he used to do to the competition.  It's open season on Tiger. It's been open season since Thanksgiving night.

There is no truer statement in sports than "America loves a winner."  The key for Tiger is not to become "Eldrick Woods," his inanely human, cheating alter-ego.  The key is for him to focus MORE on golf than he ever has before.  The key is for him to hit 2,000 balls a day on the range, win every tournament, slip on a green jacket, win another U.S. Open,  kiss another Clarrett Jug, hoist another Wannamaker Trophy.  If people don't trust or like Tiger the man than what does this really do for him or us? America loves a winner, yes, but not at the point of the winner having had these sorts of transgressions without showing a public sign of remorse yet. Winning isn't a free pass out of this.


If Tiger wins more tournaments in 2010 than anyone ever has and also wins all four majors, are we still talking about some random trysts?   Do we care about Elin Nordegren?  No. (You are either grossly misunderstanding what exactly this situation is or dramatically stereotyping Americans as idiots) We go back to talking about Tiger being the most dominant golfer of his era and probably ever.  We go back to counting down how long it will be until he overtakes Jack Nicklaus.  Nothing puts Jesper Parnevik in his place like winning a Grand Slam of major tourneys while that dick is still in Q School. I'm just a little bit insulted by this write up so far. You seem to fail to understand that Tiger made poor decisions, morally wrong decisions, stupid decisions, and he is paying the price for that. Winning golf tournaments doesn't change this. And no matter what he ends up with now, he will never be remembered like Jack Nicklaus just as Bonds will never be remembered like Hank Aaron. Why is Jesper Parnevik a dick? And why's it matter if he is in Q school? He introduced the two and he has every right to have made the comments he has made. Most of which make complete sense no less. Tiger has proven to be a dick, it's evident on the golf course when he shows about as much class as a Tijuana street hooker, and now it's evident in his private life. 

For my part, I never actually believed that Tiger Woods was human.  He's a machine.  He's a Terminator sent from the future to destroy all professional golfers (except Y.E. Yang).  I've seen the man in person and asked him a question at a press conference, and that steely glare will give you chills.  You know what doesn't give me chills?  Looking at doctored photos of Elin with a 5-iron in her hands and Tiger's face all bruised and beat up.  If late February comes and that steely glare is back, and that Tiger walk returns, and he starts sticking 5 irons from 240 yards out and starts making eagles on par 5s, the Terminator returns, and we ignore his "transgressions" because they don't apply to golf. (Oh, just like when Barry kept hitting home runs and the media and fans stopped mentioning his name with regards to steroids? Or that Pete Rose still isn't in the Hall of Fame. Just like that? )


Do you realize that golf's core, purchasing-powered, audience is a bunch of old rich men who sit in men-only tap rooms and drink beer and scotch all Sunday afternoon to get away from their wives?  These are the men buying Nike drivers because they see Tiger hit it 315 with them.  These are the guys buying their kids golf merchandise and hoping to cultivate a prodigy of their own.  These are the guys that love to watch Tiger because he's unreal at what he does.  Forget the housewives that think Tiger is a piece of shit because he cheated on his wife. They don't buy sand wedges. 


Tiger Woods is a golfer, and he always has been.  The whole "family man" angle always annoyed the shit out of me, because I didn't care about Tiger's kids or his wife (insomuch as she wasn't naked).  I thought the thing with his Dad was cool, because my Dad taught me to play golf too, but then his Dad died.  The point is that Tiger is a golfer.


Elin is going to leave him, the kids will be with her.  Random skanks will still surround the dude with a billion in the bank (well, more like 1/2 a billion after Elin and the lawyers get done), but golf will always be there.


I submit that Tiger is not married to his wife (this much was clear the the staggering number of times he has cheated on her).  Tiger is married to golf.  That's the real marriage that's going to Hell right now (not sure how any time away from the game, he isn't retiring, is putting his game to Hell? He was off longer for physical reasons last year, its more understandable, and more important, to be out for mental ones).  And if that marriage collapses, Tiger ceases to be this immortal machine; he ceases to be Tiger.  He morphs into "Eldrick," and the only thing "Eldrick" is known for is cheating on his wife and getting beat up. So basically you want to be selfish and just stick with watching Tiger as some video game dominator instead of let the man improve himself as a person, as a human being, as Eldrick? 


Tiger needs to return to golf, the thing that he's been married to since he appeared on Johnny Carson at age three.  The more time he takes away, the lower he sinks into the chaos that all those years of practice and focus allowed him to ignore. 


I don't want to judge the man, because it's not my place.  But Tiger, pick up your sticks and hit the range. America loves a winner, and by the time your career is over, you'll be the biggest winner we've ever seen.  But that will only happen if you keep playing.  


Tiger needs to become a better person, and he can't do that on Tour right now. BEING on Tour would create the circus, not letting everything die down a bit. I am unselfish enough to say that I don't care how long Tiger takes off because its not about golf right now. Its not about winning or records or majors. Its about Tiger trying to reconcile with his family, with himself. It's about Tiger learning from this. If you really care about Tiger than who gives a fuck about golf?
Newman, we texted about this, so I jsut want to get my final point down online.  The disagreement between you and me is with judging his morality. I'm asserting that I make no judgement and no one has the right to do so.  That being the case, the quickest way to put it behind him is to win win win.  Tiger will never get back what he once had.  That perfect life is gone and will never return.  All he has now is golf success and whatever bartenders/waitresses or other groupies he can find.  Everything else is just blown to Hell.  If he keeps womanizing and winning golf tournaments, he'll just be Walter Hagen instead of Jack Nicklaus, but with more tournaments.  it'll be, "Greatest golfer ever, and oh by the way he cheated on his wife."  If he keeps playing, this unpleasantness is just a footnote in his story.  If he stops playing, it's a chapter in the book, and everything he does gets compared to "before the break" and after the break."

He needs to keep playing.