WOW! I mean, WOW! I feel like this guy was walking around the party to a bunch of wincing and comments like "Too soon." and "Really, dude?" as well as "Are you just a dead football player?" and "Are you really black?" (from girls).
The best part is, this guy works with my brother. The true genius of this costume is that because of the extensive facepainting, no one will really know who this is unless they know the guy. He'll just live on forever as the most offensive costume of Halloween 2009.
With that in mind, we move on to this week's Sick 16. I'm looking at the week's scores, and we again had very few competitive games. It was just a bunch of blowouts and an absolute shootout between the Rams and Lions. I bet fans from both teams were just looking down their season ticket schedules and going, "Oh man, Ram's-Lions. This could be the game of the decade!"
It's become a disturbing trend in the NFL this year: an unseemly number of blowouts and a lack of competition. This week, 6 out of 13 games were won by at least three touchdowns. Many of them were won by more, including the Eagles' 40-17 win over the Giants (we'll get to that later.) Living in West Texas, I have to watch the Cowboys and Texans every week. So this week I was treated to a 38-17 blowout by the Cowboys over the Seahawks and a 31-10 drubbing of the Bills by the Texans. Does this mean both those teams are good? No. It means that those teams are probably mediocre to good and that the bad teams this season are really bad. Even with a salary cap, a 53-man roster, and a worst-picks-first draft, so many teams are just so bad that about half the games are uninteresting by halftime.
This NFL season sucks, and no one can tell me differently.
But something different happened this week than previous weeks. In weeks past we've had good teams blowing out bad teams. This week, we had some good teams blowing out other teams we thought were good. We also had some surprise performances, some good some bad.
Take a look at the Giants and Eagles. I've been writing all season that the Giants are one of the league's best teams because they're solid everywhere. I've also written that I'm not sure what to make of the Eagles, prompting my colleague to write something to the effect of "No confusion here. This team sucks." But they jumped on the Giants like Linsday Lohan on an eight ball of cocaine. I mean they were all over them from start to finish.
Sidebar: If you're Michael Vick at this point in the season, are you wishing you're back in federal prison so that you can actually be relevant again? Vick has fallen off the face of the Earth. He was so excited to be playing football again, but how is he ever going to get a starting job at any position with any team if he never hits the field? If you own a pitbull in the Philly area, watch out for Vick. He's looking for attention and probably thinking, "I know just the thing..."
Anyway, I also spent much of this season thinking that that the Broncos were not very good but being unable to prove it because of their unefeated record and their slew of wins against good teams. My apologies to Richard Andrews, but this team showed it's true colors on Sunday, and I don't mean the mustard and shit-brown throwbacks that they've sported twice this year. I mean Baltimore proved to be better than this team in every aspect of the game: offense, defense, and special teams.
Then there was the Colts. Playing at home against a 49er team that had been dominated for a half the previous week by the Texans, they could muster only 18 points and won a close game by four points. Not what we expected here at The Sporting Dudes.
And look at the Titans getting up off the mat. Vince Young was on fire. They won't make the playoffs this year, but hey at least they have hope. And I'm praying that LenDale White goes on a Patron bender this before this week's game. Remember in the preseason, when he told the media that he dropped some weight by giving up Patron this offseason? Start taking shots buddy, because whatever you did, it didn't work. And you're wasting space on my fantasy bench.
So the Eagles look great, the Giants look like crap, the Broncos are iffy and play the Steelers this week, the Ravens are the best three-loss team out there, and the Colts may be due for a loss.
Also: The Saints have more defensive touchdowns (6) than the Browns have offensive touchdowns (5). I think Braylon Edwards is smarter than we realized. Also the Bears put up more fantasy points this Sunday (28) against the Browns than Cleveland has scored in their last three games combined (23).
Keeping all that in mind, here's your Sick 16.
16) San Diego Chargers (16) (4-3)
Well it was another totally underwhelming performance against a crappy team. Credit the Raiders for twice playing the Chargers tough despite having the worst franchise in the league. Come to find out on game day that Coach Tom Cable (according to ESPN) beats women twice as frequently as he beats his assistant coaches. In the case of Randy Hanson, I look at his media photo and I want to hit the guy to. In the case of the women, nothing has been proven accept that Cable smacked his first wife when he found out she'd been cheating on him (crime of passion that can be understood if not condoned). This other woman? We have no idea if she's telling the truth. But Cable continues to be competitive against his division with nothing and no one. If I coached the Raiders, I might get violent too. Doesn't excuse hitting a woman...ever...I'm just saying.San Diego sucks. And considering Miami's probably going all the way to win it all (Thank you, Bart Scott), they may not be on this list next week.
JNG: They might not make the playoffs, but the Chargers are better than a handful of teams you have ahead of them. On another note, how do you feel about those oft-acclaimed powder blue jerseys? I think they've gotten a little overrated lately.. Like Jessica Simpson back in her "Newlyweds" days.
15) Houston Texans (15) (5-3)
Good teams beat the teams they're supposed to beat. The Texans did that, and obliterated any fantasy hopes I may have had by benching Steve Slaton who then gave me -1 point on the week. I'm really frustrated with this team, but they've looked good. We'll see if they have what it takes this week when they roll in to play the 7-0 Colts.
JNG: Oh how I love the irony of Schaub already having a better season this year than Michael Vick has ever had statistically. Schaub backed up Vick in Atlanta and also played at UVA whilst Vick was a Hokie. The lesson as always kids is that the Hokies suck.
14) Green Bay Packers (14) (4-3)
So we've proven that this team is clearly not better than the Vikings, but it is clearly better than the Bears and Lions. It's also better than most of the NFC West and half of the NFC South. So here they are at 14...not making the playoffs quite yet, but only a NFC East team away from grabbing a wild card spot.
JNG: Aaron Rogers isn't going to last very long in this league is his lineman keep acting like matadors instead of blocking.
13) New York Giants (10) (5-3)
Three straight losses puts them out of the playoff hunt at this time. Eli hasn't been the same since getting hurt, and it really showed on Sunday. Don't be surprised if he underachieves again this weekend against the Chargers and the questions start flying during the bye week.
JNG: I know he won a Super Bowl, but I can't help but think the Giants wish they'd just stuck with Philip Rivers back on draft day in 2004 instead of trading for Manning. The guy looks like his brother for a few weeks and then he turns into Jake Delhomme. I can think of no QB with more Jekyll and Hyde games...well, other than Delhomme himself.
12) Arizona Cardinals (9) (4-3)
This is a pretty good team when Kurt Warner doesn't give the ball away on every drive. They followed up an impressive win in New Jersey (please remember that neither "New York" team actually plays anywhere in that state) with an absolute stinker against the 2-4 Panthers at home. The only thing I know is they're the best team in the NFC West. So it looks like they're trying to duplicate last year's Super Bowl run when no one thought they were any good and then they got hot and won the NFC. It's ballsy to try to be a shitty sleeper two years in a row. Well played, Ken Wisenhunt, Well played.
JNG: If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
11) Atlanta Falcons (12) (4-3)
The Falcons lose and yet move up in the Sick 16. Yes, I believe this is OK. They played a good game against the league's best team on the road in one of the toughest places to play in the NFL. Matt Ryan had a rough game, but one of his three INTs was on a game-ending hail mary. On another, the DB had to jumped 4 feet off the ground to get it. White boys from Boston College don't often see that type of athletic ability. This team is definitely a playoff team, and I'll make a prediction now: they'll beat the Saints in Atlanta on December 13.
JNG: Did you know the girl-to-guy ratio in Atlanta is 5 to 1? That puts the over/under of Matt Ryan having the clap at atleast -100.
10) Dallas Cowboys (11) (5-2)
Nice win over the Seahawks, who are terrible. I traded for Miles Austin in my fantasy league. Roy Williams sucks. Have I covered everything?9) Philadelphia Eagles (13) (5-2)
A huge statement win over the G-Men on Sunday. They all looked like pro-bowlers. They could still lose to the Redskins in the future. Nobody really knows with this team. Their 5-2. One of those 2 is to the Saints (excusable). One of them is to the Raiders (inexcusable). But hey, if you beat a division rival by 23 without your starting running back, you can't really be doubted.
Still, I have to believe the Eags fans would have given up a win over the Giants for a second straight World Series. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
JNG: So why do you say the Chargers suck because they barely beat Oakland when this team lost to Oakland? Just a question. And I've seen the Eagles do the hot and cold thing for too many seasons to jump on their bandwagon now.
8) Denver Broncos (3) (6-1)
Did anybody else see Denver look like a JV team against the Ravens? The Ravens are good. But so are the Steelers, Giants, Colts, and Eagles. They play all of those teams. The Broncos will win the AFC West and make the playoffs, but they may be too banged up to do anything. Decent team, tough schedule, we'll see how they fare.7) Baltimore Ravens (8) (4-3)
The Ravens not only gave the Broncos their first loss, but they looked awesome in doing so. Joe Flacco is better than anyone expected I think. Ray Rice is turning into a stud. That defense continues to shut teams down unless they are flagged on late drives (Cincinatti, New England). They're a playoff team again.
JNG: Best 3 loss team in the league and its not even close.
6) Minnesota Vikings (7) (7-1)
I traded for the ageless wonder this week as well. He's headed for a bye week, and he'll rest his 40-year-old arm. Adrian Peterson gets a week off. With a 3-game lead in the NFC North, they're a lock to win the division. They'll go as far as Favre will take them (because teams are lining up to stop Peterson). So far he's been able to handle the load and then some. And Percy Harvin being the rookie of the year doesn't hurt either.
JNG: Can we just fast forward to the NFC title game between the Saints and Vikings. It's inevitable.
5) Pittsburgh Steelers (6) (5-2)
The Steelers' trip to Mile High this week is a test for both teams. I'm not sold that the Steelers are that good this season, but winning on the road in Denver would prove that to me. Then they'd be 6-2 with a future date with Cinci at home looming. If they lose, they might be just another mediocre team in a league that is finally finding a middle class after not having one to start the season.
JNG: What are the odds that the Steelers uniforms will stay the exact same during our lifetime?
4) Cincinatti Bengals (5) (5-2)
The Bengals come off their bye week to take on the Ravens at home, having already won in Baltimore. Like Denver, they're facing a tough schedule down the road with Pittsburgh, Minnesota, and closing out the season against the Jets in Giants Stadium. They'll fade, and the division will either go to Baltimore or Pittsburgh, but they're still a playoff team.
JNG: Wait, what? Is this a misprint? Because no one who has watched football this year would say a 5-2 Bengals team is better than a 7-1 Vikings team. Well, except MLC apparently.
3) New England Patriots (4) (5-2)
Let's quit bitching about Tom Brady having a special set of rules. All of these rules that are overprotective of the league's quarterbacks are bullshit. I wouldn't blame Brady because the league wants defensive players to play two-hand touch. I'd blame Sheriff Goodell, who runs the league with all of the consideration of an iron-fisted Russian Czar. Does Tom Brady wear a dress? Only if Goodell says so.
JNG: The Yankees already won the World Series. If there is a God, the Pats cannot win a Super Bowl.
2) Indianapolis Colts (2) (7-0)
Doing just enough to get the win has not been the mark of Peyton Manning teams in Indy. But that's exactly what happened on Sunday against San Francisco. San Fran is a team that can't quite make up its mind on whether or not to play inspired, hard-nosed, Mike Singletary ball or to lay down and let a team like the Texans score three touchdowns on the first half while Frank Gore rushes for ten yards. They gave Indy a fight, but the Colts pulled it out, so their still here at number two.
JNG: This team has 13-3 written all over it. I am starting to get a little worried about the injuries starting to go against them though, especially with CB Marlin Jackson now out for the year. I don't think Manning can handle another early playoff loss. He might self-combust if that happens.
JNG: This team has 13-3 written all over it. I am starting to get a little worried about the injuries starting to go against them though, especially with CB Marlin Jackson now out for the year. I don't think Manning can handle another early playoff loss. He might self-combust if that happens.
1) New Orleans Saints (1) (7-0)
Week 8 had a bit of a 2005 ring to it. Vince Young dominated. Reggie Bush was on the cover of Sports Illustrated flying through the air for a touchdown. Does this mean we'll see Young-Bush at the end of the season? Only if Bush's new girlfriend shows her vaj getting pummeled like the old one did (Kim Kardashian-Ray-J, 'nuff said). The Titans are awful. But the Saints get another win over a quality opponent (Atlanta) at home. So they remain at number one.JNG: This team will make a run at 16-0.
No comments:
Post a Comment