The Worlds Largest Cocktail Party and More

Earlier this decade, due to sensitivity about consumption of alcohol by college students, officials changed the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, to the official, and ever so creative, Florida-Georgia/Georgia-Florida game. Additionally, in May 2006, the Southeastern Conference asked the three networks which broadcast SEC football games not to use the moniker World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party anymore because it conveyed  a message regarding consumption of alcohol that the schools didn't desire.

This is the equivalent of the owner of a strip club telling people to not call it by that moniker anymore because the name suggests that the place is going to have a lot of naked and semi-naked women dancing and doing suggestively lude acts. It's called a strip club because that's what happens there. If you've ever been to a Georgia-Florida game, or any college football anywhere in the country, or wait a minute, any college in the country save BYU (Mormons are weird), then you know exactly what happens there.

A lot of drinking that's what.

The Worlds Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party is an awesome name for an awesome rivalry. SEC officials be damned, the Sporting Dudes use common sense and will call it such.

I got the chance to go to the game last year and see first hand the hundreds of thousands of people who turn up by car, boat, bus, and RV to tailgate and cheer on their teams. The thing is not just a game, its an event. People who aren't even fans come from all over just for the experience itself and to see things such as people riding motorized coolers. The atmosphere is incredible, the weather usually extremely pleasant, and the SEC women even better. I can only imagine how much wilder it will be this year since it falls on Halloween. Needless to say I am a little bitter to be sitting here in an office in New York, a place with neither pleasant weather or women.

On that note, it's Halloween, somethings crazy is bound to happen. On to the picks.

#1 Florida vs. Georgia (3:30 P.M.)

This game is the Bulldogs season. At 4-3 they really have nothing else to play for other than spoiling their arch-nemesis perfect record and run at a consecutive national title. Coming off a bye week and going against a Gators team that had to fight hard to beat Arkansas and Mississippi State this would seem like the perfect opportunity.

It would also seem that the Dawgs pitiful excuse for a pass defense (90th nationally) should come under fire against a Timmy Tebow playing his last collegiate game in his hometown and looking to get his stats back up to Heisman levels. You know what, I'll believe it when I see it. The Gators offense has sucked all year aside from beating up on NCAA powerhouses Charleston Southern and Troy (trust me when I say this, my flag football intramural team could have put up significant points against Charleston Southern) You know what the Gators are averaging outside of those two games? 25.8 points per game. You know what they are averaging since Tebow came back from his concussion? Just 21 points per game.

This is not an elite offense, not when all Urban Meyer calls is Tebow, Tebow, Tebow. Defenses, mediocre defenses at that, are catching on and loading up the box and trying to make Tebow beat them by passing. He and the Gators haven't proven they can.

It will catch up to them this week in Jacksonville. A.J. Green and the Dawgs are desperate. The wild (drunken) rumpus will start for UGA fans tomorrow.

Georgia 21, Florida 17

#4 USC at #10 Oregon ( 8 P.M.)

Logically I want to pick the Ducks. They have looked like the better and more complete of the two teams all season . Ever since that season opening loss at Boise State, Oregon has rolled on to beat its opponents by an average of nearly 24 points per game. On the other hand USC has been giving up points and yards like its bailout money. The past two weeks both Oregon State and Notre Dame have stayed in the game til the waning seconds. The game is in Autzen, one of the loudest stadiums in college football. USC is starting a true freshman at QB in Matt Barkley.

Yet, for some reason I feel compelled to pick USC. It just seems like every year when people doubt Pete Carroll and his Trojans they always find a way to win, usually in convincing fashion. And no matter how they've played since, I still can't get the image of that cringe inducing performance Oregon laid on the blue turf of Boise back in September.  My head says Duck, my gut says Trojans.

But then I saw this picture of Duck fans in banana outfits howling. I can't pick against that, I mean, come on. That's completely logical, right?

Oregon 42, USC 38.

#3 Texas at #13 Oklahoma State

Put it this way, if Texas wins this game they are going to go undefeated.

If they go undefeated than they get to play for the national championship. If they are in the national championship than you can bet on the debate to start gaining steam on where Colt McCoy ranks in the history of greatest college quarterbacks.

And, most importantly, you can expect between 5-10 obligatory shots of his family on television during the game. You know who sits with his family? Rachel Glandorf, that's who.

I can't pick against that.

Texas 38, Oklahoma State 28


# 21 South Carolina at Tennessee (7:45 P.M.)

Tennessee is better than their record indicates. Led by NFL guru Monte Kiffin, the defense is elite. Beleaguered quarterback Jonathon Crompton has actually shown signs that he can successfully throw a forward pass the past couple of weeks. They have lost two close games to the #1 and #2 teams in the country. I still have no clue how they lost at home to UCLA though.

And while I think Spurrier is headed in the right direction (it's about time) with the Gamecocks, I still don't know what to make of this team. They only scored 7 points against a laughable NC State squad and lost to Georgia in a shootout. Even Vanderbilt played them close. Their signature win thus far is against an overrated Ole' Miss team.

I expect a motivated and pissed off Volunteer squad to pull this one out.

Tennessee 21, South Carolina 17

#20 West Virginia at South Florida ( 8 P.M.)

If you haven't already, watch WVU running back Noel Devine. He's Darren Sproles. Only faster.

West Virginia 28, USF 10

And I would have predicted UNC beating Virginia Tech last night if I had had the time. You always know its going to be a great holiday season when Hokie fans have already realized their overratedness by November.

Enjoy the games and Halloween. I am sure no matter where we are, Jacksonville to Eugene, many of us will be looking like this come early Sunday:

Me and the Sports Guy

Back in the spring of 2001, just a few summer months away from my entry into high school, the Henrico County Public School System decided to become one of the first school districts in the country to distribute laptop computers to high school students. The officials had visions and dreams about the potential of the initiative to eliminate textbooks, provide invaluable instant research tools, and create a hands on outlet to increase technological awareness and proficiency amongst students. In thought and on paper a great and alluring idea.

But, let's take a step back and use a little bit of common sense here. In 2001, my generation, the Millennial s or Generation Y, whatever, was really the first generation to grow up with the internet and to begin using computers at elementary school ages. By the time we entered high school we were all very well aware of what we were doing and how to do it. Aside from a few trained professionals, the teachers and administration had no clue. So...

Question: What do you think happens when you give a bunch of tech savvy 14-18 year olds access to the internet during class?

Answer: Not a lot of school work.

Thanks to the laptop program (and really, it's a heartfelt thank you), I spent my years at Freeman playing Tecmo Super Bowl, messaging my friends, and surfing the web. Mitch can even attest that I had to drop out of our 11th grade Honors English class because I couldn't stop playing Super Mario 2. Mrs. Morse would call on me to answer a question or add to a discussion at which point I would freeze up like Mark McGuire at a Congressional Hearing. I had no idea of what the political implications of James Fenimore Cooper's work were or what the symbolism was in Nathaniel Hawthorne's Scarlet Letter. But if she had asked why Super Mario II game format was so vastly different than all the other Super Marios (character selection, throwing vegetables at enemies, and no King Koopa to name a few), I could have given her an answer in a second.

It's all just Mario's dream (On a side note, beating Super Mario 2 was easily one of my proudest achievements of high school).

So what did I get out of all of this besides a more entertaining high school experience, a lack of focus and a lower GPA?

I got the Sports Guy.

I discovered Bill Simmons just as he began to write for ESPN.com. Naturally this was a site I was visiting often during the likes of Pre-Calculus and Biology so upon the first reading of his articles I knew I was hooked. Simmons unique and humorous writing style, littered with opinions, pop culture references, and facts,
made him seem just like any ordinary fan only with an extraordinarily platform. His articles read like a conversation about sports and life that my friends and I would have during lunch. I enjoyed the articles not just because of his wit and humor, but because it was real writing with real emotions and opinions. He didn't doctor his thoughts or write in some journalistic manner. He made his material relatable.

Aside from a few good friends, cough a girlfriend and a diploma, Simmons was the only thing that followed me from high school to college (note to any high school kid who ever reads this: never, never date your high school girlfriend when you go to college; it should be a law) I continued to read him religiously. The Draft Diaries, the power polls, the Vegas stories, even his Boston bias, it was all gold. His first book Now I Can Die in Peace was the only book I read during my semester abroad. I even listen to his pod casts, which although are no where near as satisfying as his writing, are still pretty entertaining. Even now that I am in the "real world" I still sacrifice professional embarrassment, scolding and dismissal to read his new stuff whenever he posts it.

So expect my elation when I heard Simmons released his book tour for The Book of Basketball: The NBA According to the Sports Guy and one of the locations was across the street from where I work in New York City. Meeting Simmons for me would be the equivalent of some Ivy League snob meeting Hemingway or Faulkner or whoever the hell they read at those places. Lunch hour break be damned I was going.

The signing was yesterday. I will admit I was a little nervous leading up to it. Simmons had said that you could have a prepared sentence for him to sign. Creatively, I was drawing blanks. It was one of those things that when your put on the spot you seem to have no idea what to say but then, of course, like a week later you think of something brilliant. I texted Mitch and a few other friends for inspiration but to really no avail. I did however have a few good lines for him to sign in Mitch's book such as "Hey Mitch, Newman's always right." or "Hey Mitch, What happened on the night of the 2003 Big East Tournament?"  I will leave it to Mitch to tell you that story.

Anyways. I also realized I was only going to have maybe 10-20 seconds to talk with the guy. Topics raced through my head. Should I mention the website, tell him how much I enjoyed his writing, or try to make some casual sports conversation? I didn't know. I figured it would come to me. The book signing started at noon so I left my office a little early and got to the bookstore to get in-and-out as fast as possible. For some reason I had the whole  'Hey, it's Wall Street, these people have serious jobs and have work and can't take off for a book signing' train of thought going. I was wrong.

The line weaved in and out of book aisles. Though I was there relatively early there were still a hundred or so people in front of me and quickly a few hundred people behind me. It dawned on me just then how many readers Simmons really does have ( and how many people he has likely gotten fired). The guy literally reaches millions just by watching sports, making comments, throwing in a few interesting stories and putting it online. Lucky bastard. I slowly made my way from the kids section through  Religion/Spirituality and Science Fiction & Fantasy past the Cooking & Travel and finally to the Business & Money Management section. I had already finished 20 pages of his book by the time I was ushered downstairs for the final line (this isn't a review but from what I have read so far it could be going up with The Great Gatsby and The Catcher and the Rye for supremacy in the Favorite Books section of my Facebook page).

I finally got my first glimpse of the man, the myth, the legend. Even though he was sitting, he seemed shorter than I imagined and his head was unexaggeratedly tiny with predominantly gray hair. Sometimes I forget this guy is 40 years old. I was pretty calm since we'd been told that he was no longer going to be doing personal messages since the line was so long, and well, these people have jobs. The guy in front of me was a different story altogether. Whereas most people were just pulling out camera phones and snapping a a few shots, he was taking pictures with his Canon like he was a paparazzo photographing Lindsay Lohans hoo-hah.

Alas, the time eventually came for me to shake his hand and get my books signed. Despite the -200 line Mitch put down, he did not in fact use a Seinfeld reference upon learning my name. It was the only disappointment I had in my meeting (if you can call it that). After all the topics had sifted through my head the one that seemed like a safe and original bet was to play to his love for classless reality TV so I asked him how his "The Ruins" Fantasy League was going. He said in his nasally voice that he got screwed by Evelyn when she quit and that Wes was kicked out last (Wednesday) night. I told him I hadn't watched it yet so he ruined it for me and he said that someone had ruined it for him so he was bitter and returning the favor. He told me thanks for coming, shook my hand and that was that.

Obviously Simmons is a huge reason why I am here writing this story on this blog right now. I don't expect his success, at least in the sense of sports writing, but I damn sure want it. Just getting the chance to exchange a few words with him was a memorable moment. Maybe one day we can exchange just a little bit more.

So thanks Henrico County Public Schools for giving me that moment yesterday and giving me daily access to Bill Simmons way back when. So much more than a diploma.

I will leave with a few words Malcolm Gladwell wrote about Simmons in the foreword of the book:

"This is a man with five flat-screen TVS in his office. It is hard to know which part of that fact is more awe-inspiring: that he can watch five games simultaneously or that he gets to call the room where he can watch five games simultaneously his 'office'."

*If you are a sports fan, and more specifically a basketball fan, buy this book. Now. Thanks.*

Creminals

A great article on ESPN about College of Charleston's, my alma mater, mens basketball team and Bobby Cremins. I know expectations are high down South as Stephen Curry is now in the NBA and the team is coming off a 27-9 season in which they came within a game of playing in the NCAA Tournament. The Cougars regular season, highlighted by the UNC Tar Heels visit to the Carolina First Center on January 4th,  kicks off November 13th against Coastal Carolina.

Oh, and if you are wondering about the title of the post, it alludes to a t-shirt idea a fraternity brother of mine had for CofC fans right after Cremins decided to come out of retirement to coach. I thought it was brilliant. Needless to say, the school disagreed.

The World Series: A Series of Internal Conflicts

Make no mistake about it, I consider myself a Yankee hater first and foremost.  I'm a Yankee hater with the deepest of malice.  I look at Red Sox fans like  half-haters because they have an excuse.  When you play a team 18 times a year and you've been playing them that often for a century, you're going to have built up quite a rivalry.  When you constantly brawl, and that one team is the one team standing between you and your goals of a World Series, you have a reason for hatred.  When you don't win a championship for nearly nine decades while your division rival wins dozens, that's a reason for hatred.  Red Sox fans' hatred for the Yankees is totally explainable and rational.

My hatred really is not.  I'm a Braves fan for crap's sake.  I don't know where it came from, but I am simply naturally predisposed to hate the pin stripes.  Brace yourselves because I'm about to go all Montgomery Brogan "25th Hour" on you.  I hate New York.  I hate the city and how dense it is.  I hate how you feel claustrophobic when you're there because it's like all the buildings are right on top of you.   I hate the sports teams.  I hate the J-E-T-S and their obnoxious loudmouth fans.  I hate the Giants and their GEEEEEE-MEN bullshit.  I hate the New Jersey Devils.  I hate the Knicks.  I hate the Mets and how they never measure up to their expectations.  And I especially hate the Yankees.  I hate the pin stripes (other teams where pin stripes).  I hate how they act like their franchise is a step above because they don't allow long hair or facial hair.  I hate Steinbrenner and his being a loud asshole at any and every opportunity.  I hate their half a billion dollar payroll.  I hate Jeffrey Mayer.  I hate that they have more championships than any other team.  I hate Andy Petitte's fat nose.  I hate Joba's double chin.  I hate The Captain, and who the fuck names their kid Melky?  I speak Spanish and that name is still retarded.  The Spanish language doesn't even use the letter K.


Get it?  I hate the Yankees.


All of what just went before is going to make what I type now seem ridiculous and likely a bit unbelievable.


I LOVE that the Yankees are back in the World Series.  Maybe it's because I grew up in the '90s and I associate my childhood with the Yankees winning the World Series.  Maybe it's because the hype surrounding the Yanks in the Fall Classic is way better than the Detroit-St. Louis, Houston-Chicago, Tampa Bay-Philadelphia World Series combined.  That's possible...


But no, what really makes me love the World Series back in Yankee Stadium (be it New or Old) is September 11.

I was 14 years old when those towers came down.  I still get teary eyed watching footage of it all, because it takes me back to a place where I was so emotionally exposed that I still feel the aftershocks of it eight years later.  I think we all were.  I think we all do.  With the Yankees back in the World Series, I get a flood of memories back from that time in my life.


I remember being the first sporting event in Henrico County after September 11.  I was playing JV football for Douglas Freeman High School.  September 11, 2001 was a Tuesday, and by the time our game was supposed to start on Thursday night, we'd heard nothing from anyone, so we just tried to play like it was a normal day.  We took the field against the Highland Springs Springers, and I may be exaggerating, but I think for the first two quarters things were silent.  People had absolutely no clue if they could cheer, if it was OK to be playing, if it was even OK to be watching.  We won the game, and we still felt like we lost, because we were still staggering from the effects of 9/11.


Baseball was off for days.  Football took time off.  Replays of the event played nonstop on 24-hour news channels like we all thought if we watched it enough it would just reverse itself and never have happened.

But (and I'm still a bit from "9 Innings from 9/11" that documentary is too good not to echo), when baseball in Yankee Stadium came back, all those feelings we felt on the football field on 9/13, and all the fear we couldn't over come for months (and the fear that some still can't overcome) went away for a little.  Rudy Giuliani gave the thumbs up, a bald eagle flew through the sky, George W. Bush threw a strike, and we all cheered not the Yankees, not the Diamondbacks, but we cheered baseball and we cheered just to cheer.  Just to feel normal again.


So tonight, as I sat in my apartment in Lubbock, TX as a college graduate and a young professional, I watched the armed forces chorus sing God Bless America and I got chills all over again.  Up and down my body like it was 2001.  I sat there in absolute awe, and re-entered the mind of the scared 14 year old that I was when the towers went down eight years ago.  But that lasted for about 15 seconds as I remembered all the things that I felt every time I watched Irish tenor Ronan Tynan sing God Bless America in front of a packed house in the Bronx.  I felt that American pride that can only come when watching the best team in the truly American sport of baseball play in a baseball cathedral that for me, as someone who has only seen it on TV, looks and feels just like the old one.


Football has overtaken baseball in America.  But be that as it may, the Super Bowl is a kitschy, overblown pop culture distraction compared to the World Series and all of its tradition and dignity.  It reserves a special place in the memory of every sports fan not unlike that reserved for Augusta or Mickey Mantle.


And I may hate the Yankees with every fiber of my being, but it's damn good to see them back where they belong.

"Open" About Crystal Meth and Fake Mullets

 

 If you have been perusing sports sites this morning or watching ESPN, then you will have certainly heard about Andre Agassi's admission to using crystal meth during his career slump in 1997. The admission, and many others, comes in passages in his new autobiography Open, which will be on sale November 9th. In the book, Agassi also admits that the mullet-mohawk he infamously sported in the early 1990's was in fact a wig. Looking back it does seem to look very "Joe Dirt".

Although this will inevitably, and justifiably, get a lot of press and inspire a lot of conversation on radio, blogs, and television, I hope that these admissions don't hurt Agassi's legacy. I hope fans and sports followers will see the trials Agassi had to overcome, the personal demons, instead of just seeing the lines "Agassi took crystal meth". I hope people understand that none of this changes who Agassi is today, who he turned himself into after those suspect years. Know that this is a man so comfortable, so at peace with himself, that he has chosen to reveal these stories. He has chosen to let us all know. He could have easily left it hidden in the closet and gone about being one of the most loved American athletes of his generation. But he took an opportunity to be honest to his fans and to himself and that is the kind of man Andre Agassi is today, a true role model.

For a more eloquently written article on the subject please read Rick Reilly's fantastic piece about Agassi.

How Will Amazing Happen This Year?

The NBA is back.

• Kobe still wants it. He really, really wants it. So does every other player in the league.
• "Everyday" by Carly Comando. You'll recognize it. Trust me.
• Not sure who the best team in the East is going to be but its a safe bet it won't be a team not named the Celtics, Magic, or Cavaliers.
• Rasheed Wallace will have a better year in Boston than Shaq will have in Cleveland.

• Lebron will score 30+, but Boston will beat the Cavs on opening night 95-89. Just a hunch..
• Although they excite me about as much as seeing Marge Simpson in the nude (seriously Playboy?), the Spurs are my pick to finish the season with the best record. 
• That is as long as they stay healthy.  The trio of Tony Parker, Manu and Tim Duncan have won three titles on their own this decade. Richard Jefferson will make a huge difference as he is both explosive and a solid team guy. He will feed off not having any pressure on his shoulders. DeJuan Blair was the best player in the Big East last year and yet somehow fell to the Spurs in the 2nd Round of last years draft. Oh, and they have solid players in Roger Mason, Antonio McDyess, Michael Finley and Matt Bonner. This might be the deepest team in the league, but they need the power trio to be at full force to win in June. 
• Duncan knows his window is closing to cement his legacy. That spells trouble for the rest of the league.

• Not sure why people think the Mavericks are going to be good with the Artist Formerly Known as Jason Kidd manning the point. 
• I have no idea why the 76ers went back to their old logo, but it sure does look good. A lot cleaner. Combine that with the Pistons throwing their Flaming Mustang logo away a few years ago and I guess simple is in again.
• My coworker offered me to split season tickets with him for the Nets. Besides Devon Harris, name me one player on the New Jersey team? Easily the most boring team in basketball. Needless to say, I did not go in with him on the offer.
• Anyone watching the playoffs last year could tell you how valuable Trevor Ariza was to the Lakers run. Without him, they lose, plain and simple. The guy was perfect for the triangle offense and was really just coming into his own as a player. Not sure how he will do in Houston, but the Lakers are going to regret not resigning him for the same money they are paying...
• Ron Artest. I don't think he'll be a problem, but at this point in his career he is not a better player nor does he fit better in Phil Jackson's system than Ariza.
• I really hope Blake Griffin's only blip on the radar this year ends up being the broken kneecap he sustained throwing down a patented monster slam during his last preseason game. He is too hard a worker, too good a guy, and too exciting of a player to go all Greg Oden on us Watching Griffin in the NCAA's last year was truly watching a man amongst boys. Even UNC, which had a NBA caliber front court, were throwing triple teams at him in their tournament game. Aside from Lebron, no one throws down a dunk as viciously as Griffin. Here's hoping for a healthy return.
  

• Stephon Curry wll lead the rookies in scoring. Alas, he still looks 15.
• I can't believe people are second guessing the Magic. If he hadn't been Mr. Clutch in the playoffs last year, wouldn't everybody (EVERYBODY) point out that Vince Carter is just simply a better player than Hedo Turkoglu?
• Vince Carter has a capable, motivating, and proven coach. He has a supporting cast that will take the majority of opposing defenses focus. Vince Carter has never had either of these before.
• Dirk Nowitzki has got to get a haircut, right? Right?

•  People expect big things from Derrick Rose in his sophomore season. I expect big things from Derrick Rose. And by big I mean 20 PPG, 10 APG, and 5 RPG.
• The Pistons added Charlie Villanueva and Ben Gordon. That be great if this was 2003 UConn and not the 2009-2010 NBA season. Pencil them in for a seven or eighth seed and a hasty departure from the playoffs...at best.
• No new logos this year. I'm disappointed.
• Reigning scoring champ Dwyane Wade, inch-for-inch, is the best player in the NBA when he is healthy.
• Unfortunately, the Heat are a mediocre team and look to be for some time. Wade wants to be contending for championships and he deserves to be. A free agent after this season, I don't see him staying in South Florida.
• Speaking of deserving to contend for a championship, Steve Nash deserves better than the 2009-2010 Phoenix Suns.
• In 2005 Emeka Okafor won the Rookie of the Year Award over Dwight Howard. Since then, I don't think there is an argument over who has become the better player. While Emeka is always fun to say, Dwight Howard is the premiere center in the league right now. It will be interesting to see if Okafor can revive his career with Chris Paul and the Hornets though.
• Portland is overrated. Brandon Roy is not.
• It doesn't bode well for him when the best thing about Greg Oden's career has been that hilarious ESPN The Magazine commercial. 
• The Oklahoma City Thunder are making the playoffs.
• Because of Kevin Durant. Durant might be the most freakish player, from a skills stand point, in the NBA. At 6'10 he is virtually unguardable. He can drain deep range threes, post up, and take it strong to the hole. It doesn't matter who you throw at him because no matter who you do it's going to be a mismatch. He was fifth in the NBA in scoring last year averaging 25 points per game...and he was 20. 20! Some freshman in college are that age. Factor all this in with the way he admirably handles himself professionally and personally and the sky is the limit for Durant in this league.

• LeBron James. No question about it, the guy is a freak, freak athlete. At 6'8 and 250 lbs he could be listed as a tight end (I would put money on him being able to start with the Browns right now). However, I'm not bowing down to him until he wins a title. It won't be this year.
• The Cavs got beat last year by the Magic in convincing fashion because they were unable to guard the pick and roll. Time and time again the Magic would screen the ball and draw Cleveland's immobile big men out on the perimeter for an easy drive-by, three pointer, or inside feed to Howard. So naturally in the off-season the Cavs acquired one of the worst pick-and-roll defenders of all-time in Shaquille O'Neal.
• The Magic, as evidenced in last year's playoffs, match-up incredibly well with Cleveland and incredibly bad with Boston. The Celtics despite playing Brian Scalabrine significant minutes were still able to take Orlando to 7 games. Even without a healthy KG and newly acquired Rasheed Wallace, the Celtics simply bully Dwight Howard and the Magic inside. They also have the athleticism, size, and team chemistry to defend the pick-and-roll. The Magic want no part of the Celtics in the spring.
• Mike D'Antoni will keep the Knicks entertaining. But when his best player is Danillo Gallinari, he can't make them good.
• The Pacers are the whitest team in basketball.
• Allen Iverson plays for the Memphis Grizzlies. No way this ends well.
• Agent Zero (Gilbert Arenas) is still the coolest nickname in the NBA.
• Here is hoping the Birdman soars again in Denver.

 

• With Carmelo Anthony, Nene, Chauncey Billups, and J.R. Smith, I think the Nuggest will be the third best team in the Western Conference this year and give either the Lakers or Spurs a real scare in the second round. SOAR BIRDMAN, SOAR!!!!
  
• Dear Atlanta Hawks Fans, I hope you enjoyed making it to the second round last year and getting abruptly destroyed in four games. That's the peak of this teams potential.
• Sacramento Kings...I've got nothing to say.
• Same goes for the Raptors, Timberwolves, and Bucks.
• Is it just me or does Charlotte seem to have compiled a team comprised mostly of players that played collegiate basketball at UNC or Duke? That be great if they were playing in the ACC and not the NBA. Bobcat fans should be ready for a rough season, not that they aren't used to that or anything. 
• Also, a note to whomever runs the Bobcats. Please do not subject us to seeing those hideous, hideous Nascar inspired checkered jerseys this year. Thanks.
• Jerry Sloan has been the coach of the Utah Jazz longer than I have been able to talk.
• Have you listened to "Everyday" by Carly Comando yet? If that won't get you pumped for the 2009-2010 NBA season, I don't know what will.
  

NFL Sick 16: Week 7: No changes at the top, but look out below

I'm a Redskins fan, and we've been through some real lean years since the Super Bowl win in '92.  This is by far the worst.  Never have I lost hope so early in the season.  But Tom Jackson illuminated a point on Monday Night Countdown.  This debacle of a season is nothing more than a standoff between Vinny Ceratto and Jim Zorn.  Ceratto takes play calling away from Zorn and gives it back to a retiree.  He expects Zorn to quit.  Zorn defiantly says he'll stay on even though, "They took away the thing I love the most."  Zorn will now continue to look confused and depressed on the sideline.  Jason Campbell will continue to end up on his butt.  And the Redskins will hit my preseason prediction of 5-11...if we're lucky.  God we suck.

I wrote last week that this was a season of haves and have nots more than any year I can remember.  It's predictable who will win most of the games, as we saw about half a dozen games this past week that were won by four touchdowns or more.  So many of the games were crap, I fell asleep on Sunday.  But at least it makes the power rankings a little easier. 

Once again we've got the six playoff teams in each conference and two teams from each conference that might end up in the playoffs if a few things go right here or there.

16) San Diego Chargers (3-3) (16)

MLC: A blowout win against a crappy team gets the Bolts right back where they were last week.  This team has a first place schedule due to last year's late season resurgence, but they're not a first place quality team.  That means they have the type of schedule remaining that's going to keep them out of the playoffs.  The Raiders are up next (who they struggled with in the season opener), then they're at the Giants, home to Philly, and at Denver.  Later in the season they play Dallas, Cinci, and Tennessee (who might have a pulse or a win or both by the end of the season).  Right now I say they won't make the playoffs, but I like them better than the Jets or Dolphins right now giving the struggles of each of those teams at quarterback.  The rest of the AFC is crap, plain and simple.


JNG: The Chargers looked good against the Chiefs. I'd be more impressed if the Chiefs didn't look like they should be playing intramurals. 

15) Houston Texans (4-3) (--)


MLC: I took Texans with my the first two picks of my fantasy draft.  Andre Johnson at 9 and Steve Slaton at 16.  7 weeks into the season, they seem like they're finally figuring things out.  Schaub has stayed healthy (keep your fingers crossed!), Slaton looks to be achieving the potential he showed last season, and Andre Johnson is as beastly as ever (depending on how he comes back from injury.  The Texans play a bunch of third place teams as well as the entire NFC West.  They also have impressive wins at Cincinnati and at Tennessee (hey, any road win in the division is impressive).  Do they have the defense to make the playoffs and overtake my current wildcard favorites in the NFC North?  Probably not, but it doesn't mean they can't have a damn good season.  


JNG: Still can't wrap my head around how the Texans picked Mario Williams over NCAA All-Everythings Reggie Bush, Matt Leinart, and Vince Young...and got it right.

14) Green Bay Packers (4-2) (--)

MLC: I left the Pack out of the Sick 16 last week because they have so many issues protecting Aaron Rodgers and I have never believed in Ryan Grant as a viable NFL running back.  Say what you will, I'd rather have a lot of running backs in the NFL over him.  I think the Packers need to address this need in the draft, because that team could be amazing with a running game that better compliments Aaron Rodgers and his receivers.  But they play the entire NFC West (are you sensing a theme here?), so there's four wins, but they also play the AFC North.  They won't make any headway against those tough defenses with the lack of protection they have for Rodgers.  But they're better than the other NFC possibles (especially the Bears).  So they could make it, but we'll see.


JNG: Aaron Rogers career as a quarterback in the NFL is going to be short lived if the Packers offensive line can't protect him. He's been sacked more times than Rome (a reach, forgive me).

13) Philadelphia Eagles (4-2) (14)

MLC: This team still confuses me.  They've played one good team so far and they got beat by that team (New Orleans) by three touchdowns.  They lost to the Raiders.  They beat the Redskins by ten in a game where the Redskins tried to lose by 30 (Did you watch that Monday night game?  Just awful, and the 'Skins still had a chance at the end).  They still have two games against the Giants, two games against the Cowboys, and games against the Falcons and Broncos, so like the teams at 14-16 I don't like their odds, but I feel a lot better about them than about the 49ers or Bears.


JNG: No confusion here. The Eagles suck.

12) Atlanta Falcons (4-2) (7)

MLC: Our first playoff team.  I really expect this team to move up, but they got so outplayed by the Cowboys that they have to go here.  They finished as the first wild car last year, and they played a last place schedule and no one expected anything out of them.  if they're able to make the playoffs again after playing a tougher schedule and with people game planning for their stars and expecting them to be good, that's an achievement in itself.  Like I wrote last week, this is a league of haves and have nots.  The Falcons are a haves team, but they got handled last week, so they go in at 12.


JNG: They have lost at New England and at Dallas. Both respectable losses. However, there season will be defined by how they handle the Saints in the Superdome next Monday. I am sure Drew Brees and Company will be licking their lips after watching tape of the Dallas O carving up the Falcons D. 

11) Dallas Cowboys (4-2) (--)

MLC: It's tough to argue with a double digit win over a legit team.  Miles Austin looks to be emerging as a great young talent.  They have three healthy running backs, the best tight end in the league, and they got back they're starting strong safety.  Things are looking up for the boys and they have four games left against the Seahawks, Raiders, and Redskins (twice).  They should at least get to eight wins.  A couple more wins out there and they're in the playoffs.  And if they keep playing like they did Sunday, they'll get those wins.


JNG: Witten as best tight end at football? How can you say that about a guy who's biggest accomplishment was making the tabloids with Romo and Jessica Simpson in Cabo? I'd take Gates, Clark, Gonzalez, Shockey, and even Vernon Davis over Witten.
 

10) New York Giants (5-2) (4)

MLC: Two straight losses, including one at home to the Cardinals, who I must admit I did not believe it.  Where was the defense Sunday night?  Where was the running game?  What the hell happened?  They made Arizona's defense look like the Steel Curtain.  They're vaunted front four got hammered by Beanie Wells.  Anquan Boldin was gimpy the whole damn game, and the Giants couldn't stop the team with a near 40-year-old quarterback.  What else is there to say?  I can excuse a loss to the Saints, who are a great team this year.  But this loss to the Cardinals raises some serious questions about the G Men.


JNG: As inconsistent as they may be, the Cardinals are the defending NFC Champions and not to mention very close from being defending Super Bowl Champions, so I am not seeing why this is such a bad loss. The Giants have their fair share of problems, but they will run away with the NFC East. Mark my words. 

9) Arizona Cardinals (4-2) (13)

MLC: Well, you just read everything I had to say about the Cardinals.  Last week I said the 49ers were a playoff team because they look like the "best looking turd in the bowl."  This week, I have to say the Cardinals have jumped out of the crapper and look like a good team.  Yes, the Arizona Cardinals looked good.  You can't doubt a team that comes back east and beats the Giants at the Meadowlands.  They may have lost to the 49ers in San Fran, but let's revisit that matchup in a few weeks when they play in Arizona.  I won't be surprised when the Cards win big.


JNG: Kurt Warner is like Tuck Everlasting at this point, he's not getting any older. We all know their offense is good, but it has gotten better with the addition of Beanie Wells. Note to offenses around the league, this is not last year's defense. These guys are good.

8) Baltimore Ravens (3-3) (9)

MLC:  This team really needed a week off.  They had three tough losses in a row. The biggest worry is whether or not they'll return to 3-0 form or get stuck in that 0-3 rut.  Sunday's game against Denver is a statement game.  For both teams.


JNG: Is Willis McGahee alive? 

7) Minnesota Vikings (6-1) (3)

MLC:  I don't really fault the Vikings for losing to the Steelers in Pittsburgh.  The way they lost, honestly, makes me feel even better about them.  The defense is great.  They have Adrian Peterson, and if their offense could make a tackle and didn't give up two defensive touchdowns to the Steelers, they probably would have won that game.  This is still an elite team and the second best team in the NFC by a lot.


JNG: Not sure if I was more impressed with Peterson just completely bulldozing over Steelers  cornerback William Gay ( Literally the highlight of the season thus far ) or if I was more unimpressed by Favres attempt at tackling ( It's hilarious until you realize how pathetic it is )  after throwing that crucial interception. Nevertheless, I am not worried about this team.

6) Pittsburgh Steelers (5-2) (10)

 MLC: Big win over the Vikings at home and all of a sudden the World Champs have won four in a row and have a head of steam.  Too bad they're heading into a bye week.  On the other side they've got a road game in Denver, a doesn't-matter-where game against KC, and a chance for in-division revenge at home against the Bengals.  Pencil this team in for 10 wins and no worse than a wild card spot.


JNG: This team has gotten lucky in a few of their wins and their defense still isn't what it was last year. I don't see them making the playoffs. I really don't.

5) Cincinnati Bengals (5-2) (8)

MLC: The former Bungals must be on top of the world after taking the Bears to the woodshed.  I mean that was embarrassing for the Bears.  That's almost as bad as getting crapped on by the International Olympic Committee.  Ochocinco looks great again, Carson Palmer looks good, and where the hell did Cedric Benson come from?  If pepper spray made you a better running back, wouldn't Maurice Clarrett be a perennial pro-bowler by now?  Bengals have a bye week as well, then the schedule gets tough with the Ravens, Steelers, and Vikings down the road.  But they also have the Raiders, Browns, and Lions in consecutive weeks and the Chiefs later on.  All four of those games are wins, so this is another team that should end up in the thick of the playoff hunt.


JNG: What exactly is a Bungal?

4) New England Patriots (5-2) (6)

 MLC: They've got two blowout wins in a row over two bad teams, and they're headed into the bye week after a win in London.  I still don't quite know what to make of the Patriots, but they got healthy and now they'll get healthier, so I like their chances.  They can at least win the AFC East considering the disappearance of Mark Sanchez against teams not named the Oakland Raiders.


JNG: I would agree with you if not for the fact that the Patriots just beat two teams with a combined record of 0-13. And oh yeah, Mark Sanchez has already beaten them. 

3) Denver Broncos (6-0) (5)

MLC: They got screwed by the NFL schedulers.  But they also did exactly what they needed to do before they hit this rough spot.  With games remaining against the Colts, Ravens, Steelers, and Giants, not in that order, it's a safe bet to believe they won't go undefeated.  But they also have games left against the Raiders and Chiefs (twice).  They also already beat the Chargers on the road, so the division is pretty much theirs.  Don't know where they'll end up seeded in the playoffs, but they'll be there.


JNG: Elvis Dumervil is a great name. Really, take a step back and just let it roll of your tongue. It's great. On a relevant note, even though they are undefeated I feel like the Broncos have that Marty Schottenheimer feel to them. That is to say that they will have a great season, with probably no more than 3 losses, but then they'll be "upset" in their first game in the playoffs a la Marty's 14-2 Chargers a few years back or the Titans last year. I promise you this will happen.

2) Indianapolis Colts (6-0) (2)

MLC: The team had a bye this week. Wait, what?  They played the Rams? 


JNG: Mitch, playing the Rams is a bye week.

1) New Orleans Saints (6-0) (1)

MLC: Just when I was about to say they let the hype get to them, they come back from down three touchdowns to win by double digits against a playoff team from last year on the road in the stadium in which the Super Bowl will be held in February.  That makes two really impressive wins in a row, and that keeps the Saints at number one.  And oh look, here come remaining games against the Bucs (twice), Panthers (twice), Redskins, and Rams.  Six wins.  Right there.  Count 'em.  Looks like the NFC's road to Miami runs through New Orleans this year.


JNG: When it was young, my cat used to catch all sorts of animals, mainly chipmunks and moles and  the occasional bunny. One time it actually brought in a Blue Jay, how, I'm still trying to wrap my head around. Anyways, the cat wouldn't directly kill its prey . Instead it would toy with it, boringly almost, pawing at it, leaving it alone, pawing at it again, then leaving it alone again. lt let the animal think it had a chance to escape. Of course anyone who has had a cat will tell you, the animal does not escape. The cat eventually gets hungry and eats the thing.
 

That was the Saints versus the Dolphins last Sunday.

Pinstripe Loathing

JNG: Cheering for the Yankees is about as appealing to me as having to watch "Ace Ventura Jr. Pet Detective" (yes, this is actually a movie). I despise them. Always have, certainly always will. Having recently moved to New York after college, it pains me to be around so many loud and obnoxious idiots (Yankee fans).

The late 90s were a rough time for myself and all pinstripe haters as the Bronx Bombers, led by Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, and Andy Pettite (wait a second...) went on to win 4 World Series titles from 1996-2000. The culminating title, a 4-1 demolition of the Mets, allowed the arrogance of Yankees fans to reach an all-time high.

Things looked bleak. Yet, since that 2000 title it seems that all those arrogant For-No-Reason Yankee fans (and come on, 95% of Yankee fans have absolutely no affiliation with the team and are never heard of unless the team is winning) angered the Baseball Gods. This decade has seen the Yankees missing the playoffs in 2008, losing in two World Series finals to underdog teams, and getting the nice prize of being the only team in baseball history to ever lose a series they were leading 3-0...to the Red Sox no less. I'll never forget the pure, and I guess kind of sadistic, pleasure a friend and I got making a girl in our history class, the definition of a For-No-Reason Yankees fan, cry after the Red Sox came back.Yes, the Zeros (is there any good nickname for this decade?) has been good to us Yankee haters.

Now, as this decade comes to a close the Yankees are back in the World Series facing the defending champion Philadelphia Phillies. For the sake of my sanity Baseball Gods, please, please, please let the next decade be as good as the last.

Phillies in 6 or else I might be the one crying.

MLC: Now believe it or not, I'm actually quite please that the Yankees are back in the Fall Classic.  Don't get it twisted, I hate the Yankees as much as anyone in the world.  Considering the four years I spent with the young citizens of the tri-state area and their tri-state transplant relatives as a student at the University of Miami, I've heard a lot of crap from the New Yawkas.  But you know what's been great about all of it?  They all have to shut up when they lose.

And that's what I'm hoping for here.  What could be better than sky high hopes to match a sky high payroll being totally dashed.  Where do the Yanks go if they lose this one?  It would be awesome.

Similar to the overly swaggering Pats fans from Bahston being so overly confident going into the Super Bowl and then hiding in a hole for a month after finishing the season 18-1.  I'm hoping they'll come in talking a whole bunch of shit and then just disappear.

Then I only have to deal with Philly fans.

The Roundup

Another wild weekend in both the college football and NFL worlds. Sure we will chime in with our thoughts on Mount Cody saving Bama's season, Bret Favre's tackling method (hint: it involves falling on the ground awkwardly like you just had a seizure), and other topics of note later. In the mean time enjoy Peter King's Monday Morning QB and Stewart Mandel's College Football Overtime.

Bill Simmons NBA Preview

One of our favorite writers. Check out his take on the new NBA season.

I wonder if Kobe still wants it? Does he really, really want it?

NFL Sick 16 Week 6: Finally It's Not a Crapshoot

The Oakland Raiders have 2 wins this season and the Tennessee Titans have none.  Wow.  Just had to put that out there before I began.

There are only 32 teams in the NFL and only 53 men on every roster.  Those players come from every conceivable place in the country and many countries in the world, but the NFL is a cruel bottleneck, and most of the crap players get filtered out.  What you are left with is the best football talent in the world stepping on the field week in and week out.  With such a sieve system put in place as well as a tightly regulated salary cap, you can expect pretty even competition week in and week out.  For the better part of football history during my lifetime, Sundays have brought close, even matchups.  You may have teams go 15-1, 14-2, or 13-3, but throughout the season you generally saw chinks in each team’s armor that led you to believe any team could beat any other team on any given Sunday.

Through 6 weeks of the 2009 NFL season, each team has played at least 5 games, and it is clear to me that the previous statement no longer holds true (unless it is applied only to the NFC West).  This year, there are certain “Haves” and certain “Have Nots.” The Haves continue to hammer the Have Nots week in and week out.  There is not even competition this year between the Haves and Have Nots.  There is only even competition within those two groupings.  When the two play each other, it gets ugly (ask the Titans about their 59-0 loss in Foxboro on Sunday).

With that said, I’m going to take a look at power rankings through Week 6.  I have chosen only to rank 16 teams.  I’ll be picking 6 teams from each conference that I believe will make the playoffs and 2 teams from each conference that are lurking and could also make the playoffs if certain things fall into place.

16.San Diego Chargers (2-3)


MLC: This team really needs to make up its mind.  Either they are going to wake up and be team they were from last year that used a late surge to make the playoffs and then beat the Colts in the first round, or they’re going to continue to underachieve.  I’m a Redskins fan, so believe me, I know that if anyone can make a team underachieve, it’s Norv Turner.  The man has proven over and over again that he cannot be trusted as a head coach.  I’d love to know what he does in an interview to get these jobs, because people tend to look at the wake of destruction he left in Washington and Oakland and just completely ignore it.  He cannot and should not be a head coach.

     

That said, you know who would go great here?  Mike Shanahan.  Think about it.  He would be stepping into a talented offensive team with a good, cocky young quarterback.  He would have two good running backs (I’m counting LaDanian Tomlinson because his career would get a second life with Shanahan’s blocking schemes) and a great tight end.  On top of that, there’s the revenge factor.  Two games a year against the team that fired him and hired a 32-year old. 

In fact, I’m putting the Chargers on this list ahead of the Jets, Jags, and Texans because, with a good coach, they can go places.  But they’re just barely hanging on with Norv Turner.

JNG: Remember that awkward, gangly girl in high school who you looked at, weren't that impressed with at the time, but intuitively something about her made you think, 'She is going to be really hot when she gets older.'? A friend and I actually made a bet over this once. I thought a younger girl was going to be really good looking the older she got, the more she grew into herself. He politely disagreed. $5 was laid on the line. As I graduated high school and college years progressed, I kept tabs on said girl, just expecting that one day she'd be the knockout I had predicted.6 years have passed since that bet was made and I think I owe my friend some money.

The Chargers are that girl.

Just like her, year in and year out numerous football fans and myself salivate over their talent and potential. Year in and year out we are let down. Despite Rivers (who is one of the game's best quarterbacks), its just not going to happen. Puberty's over.

15. Miami Dolphins (2-3)

MLC: I know it’s only one game, but Chad Henne looked damn good against the Jets didn’t he? I watched him throw the deep ball to Ted Ginn, Jr. as Ginn beat four defenders and thought, “That’s how it’s supposed to look.”  Suddenly picking Ginn as their first rounder made sense because they finally got a quarterback to take advantage of his speed.  Henne made some throws that Pennington could never have made, including that late out route near the goal line to Greg Camarillo that would have fluttered over there and been knocked down had it been Pennington throwing it.

Now that Ronnie Brown looks to be at top speed, this team could jump out of its doldrums and start a run.  But for me, they’re number 15, because playing the first place schedule that they are, I wouldn’t expect them to do any better than 8-8, which will keep them out of the postseason.

JNG: Sorry for not taking the bait on the Chad Henne's of the world. A few good games mean nothing in the long run for a young quarterback (just ask Mark Sanchez). I don't expect the 'Fins to do much besides annoy me with more "Wildcat" news articles and coverage and finish 7-9. At best.

14.Philadelphia Eagles (3-2)

MLC:3 wins over crappy teams and a loss to the Raiders.  McNabb looks like a Pro Bowler, then the offense doesn't move.  Good teams are consistent.  The Eagles are not.  Thus, I leave them out of the playoff race, but they could sneak in if they play the Redskins twice a year...and then do.

JNG: Pardon me for not endorsing a team that just lost to Jemarcus Russell. Expect the expected from Andy Reid and the Eagles: one hot streak, a few losses to bad teams (a la the Raiders), Philly fans oft publicized hot and cold relationship with McNabb, and Michael Vick continuing to do nothing. They'' probably make the playoffs. They'll definitely lose. Its Philadelphia football in the 21st Century.

13. Arizona Cardinals (3-2)

MLC:What to make of the NFC West?  The Cardinals did the same thing last year, then won this crapfest at 9-7, then went to the Super Bowl and nearly became world champs (if Santonio Holmes didn't have unusually long fingers and toes).  Well, they still look like an 9-7 team, but the way that offense works they can hang with anybody.  We'll see if that record will make the playoffs again this year.

JNG: I'll go ahead and admit it: Larry Fitzgerald is going in the man crush file. Whether it be the Predator-esque hair or the infectious smile, his sure hands or his polite demeanor, #11 for the Cardinals is one of the best things going for the NFL. How great is it to have a world class receiver who provides no drama, doesn't seek publicity, and goes about doing his job each and every week as best as he can all while looking like a guy who, you know, actually enjoys what hes doing. Isn't that what we want out of our professional athletes?

I got goosebumps last year watching the Super Bowl on his long TD reception where he was watching himself on the big screen as he sprinted down the field. He thought he had just won the team ring. I wish he had.

Of no consolation I am sure, I'll irrationally peg the Cards for a 10-6 season and NFC West title just because of my admiration for him.

 

12.Chicago Bears (3-2)


MLC: Right now the Bears have their franchise quarterback, but who cares?  He's has all the bad qualities of Brett Favre and too few of the good ones.  If he was saying "Aww shucks" after all those INTs, Chicagoans might be able to laugh it off with him.  But right now, he's just a snot-nosed kid from Vandy who can't lead his team on a long drive without giving the ball away.  After week six he has 10 TDs and 7 INTs.  Kyle Orton? 9 TDs and 1 INT.  And the Broncos are 6-0. And the Bears gave Cutler a contract extension.

JNG: I know that most people who follow football know Jay Cutler has Type 1 diabetes. However, I don't think people neither give him enough credit for playing with this condition nor fully understand what this means. It is a very serious, and fatal if not properly treated, condition that requires a lot of diligence and patience on the part of the affected. With symptoms like fatigue, extreme thirst, and blurred vision, I find it remarkable that Cutler has persevered to become an "elite" NFL quarterback. I still think Cutler is a jerk and a bit overrated, but you have to tip your hat to him.

That being said I like the Bears. They should have beaten the Falcons the other night and aside from a no-show in Lambeau to  start the season, they have been playing solid, consistent football. Unfortunately though, the NFC North is the best division in football this year, so it will be interesting to see how their season unfolds.

11. San Francisco 49ers

MLC: Again, in the season long crapfest that is the NFC West, this team is like the best-looking turd in the bowl. They're in the playoffs right now, but how far will Shaun Hill take them?  I think I just answered my own question.

JNG: I don't necessarily agree with my colleagues interesting metaphor or his take on the Niners. This team will play hard and finish in the 7-9 to 9-7 range but barely miss the playoffs. Going forward though, I think things are going in the right direction for the franchise. Singletary is a good, hard-working coach who will get the most out of his team while young players like TE Vernon Davis and LB Patrick Willis will be Pro Bowlers for years to come, Now let's see if Crabtree of Texas Tech lore will be a star in the league. I say yes.

10. Pittsburgh Steelers (4-2)

MLC: Pittsburgh is an intriguing team.  They look like the ideal Super Bowl hangover team, so this is where Mike Tomlin earns his money.  The great coaches keep their teams focused when they have every reason to lose focus.  He has to keep them from getting complacent.  Oh, and Polamalu coming back and propping up this struggling D might help too.  Big test against the Vikes this week.

 JNG: Mike Tomlin played football at William & Mary in my home state of Virginia. That's about all I have to say about the 2009 Pittsburgh Steelers.

9. Baltimore Ravens  (3-3)

MLC: I know, I know.  The Ravens are 3-3 and the Steelers are 4-2.  But the Ravens have lost three tight games to three good teams.  They have a complete running game, an emerging stud in Ray Rice, and a quarterback who is either figuring things out or doing a really good job fooling everyone.  Then there's that defense.  It's not as good as years past, but Ray Lewis and Ed Reed on the field at the same time has to count for something.  This is a team, unlike the Titans, that will probably end up just where it was last year.

JNG: Oh, the irony of life in the NFL. Since their Super Bowl victory in 2000, the Ravens have annually sought a decent offense to match their dominant defense. As this decade turns into the next one, could it be that the Ravens will have the opposite problem? 

The Ravens O is loaded with young talent. Joe Flacco is putting up fantasy numbers in his sophomore season and Ray Rice is starting to come into his own. But the Ravens D, already having lost coordinator and defensive mastermind Rex Ryan to the Jets last offseason, is struggling. Names aside,  Ray Lewis, Ed Reed and company are aging.

A few years ago no one would ever believe the Ravens could put up 31 points like they did at Minnesota last Sunday...and lose. Well, they lost. 

8. Cincinnati Bengals (4-2)

MLC: I never thought the Bengals would be up this high, but you have to hand it to them: they've earned it.  They've won every division game.  They've beat Baltimore on the road.  Cedric Benson gained 100 yards against the Ravens, and that never happens.  I expect them to fade, because they're just not as complete as Baltimore nor as experienced as Pittsburgh, but for now they have to rank above both teams.

JNG: Do you realize how easily the Bengals could be 0-6 right now? Even though the fact is they are not, I don't see this team pulling out every close game they are in...which seems to be every game they are in. Barring a complete breakdown, which who are we kidding could very well happen (it's the Bengals!), No matter what though I think this season will be considered a success in Cincy since the defense has finally progressed and Carson Palmer is back to being Carson Palmer.

A few quick  thoughts on Chad Ocho Cinco: His father can't be happy, I can't wait till he marries, opposing corners have to be laughing to themselves when they guard him, especially when they get burnt and are left looking at his jersey, and I have no idea how he doesn't have his own reality TV show yet. No idea.

 7. Atlanta Falcons (4-1)

MLC: Matty Ice deserves his nickname.  My brother was bitching about drafting Jason Elam.  He said he thought the offense would be good enough to move it down the field, "...but this offense is so damn good they just score touchdowns."  He's right.  The Falcon's offense has studs all over the field.  Ryan at QB, Michael Turner at RB, Roddy White at WR, and Tony Gonzalez at TE.  They also have a defense that has been serviceable except for a loss against the Patriots.  But Tom Brady can be tough to contain.

JNG: Maybe I am getting lazy (I am) but I don't have much to say about the Falcons. They're a serviceable team that will feast on the Panthers and Bucs in their division. Three of their wins have come against teams with a combined record of 7-8 and their win against the Bears was a little bit lucky. So I don't know where the Falcons stand right now other than you can pencil them in for atleast 2 more losses (Saints) and that Matt Ryan is good.

6. New England Patriots (4-2)

MLC: This isn't the Pats from earlier in the decade, but don't sleep on them.  Any team with Tom Brady is pretty good.  They're hurt, but they're still better than the Dolphins, Jets, and Bills.  They'll make the playoffs, but with all the injuries they may just be first round fodder.

JNG: I hate the Patriots just as much as I hate the Yankees. I just do (They're throwback AFL unis are looking damn good though).

5.Denver Broncos (6-0)


MLC: Man do I hate this team, but you simply can't argue with results.  I keep expecting Kyle Orton to fall apart. I keep expecting Knowshon Moreno to get hurt (like all Broncos running backs seem to).  I keep expecting Brandon Marshall to get arrested.  None of it happens, and they keep rolling along.  They beat the Patriots, Chargers, Bengals (albeit on a miracle play), three teams that are on this list.  If they're defense keeps blitzing every play and Elvis Dumerville keeps playing like Reggie White, then Orton and the O don't have to do much.  We'll see what happens when the play the Giants and Steelers after their bye.

JNG: Lets not get too ahead of ourselves about a team who was one very lucky, albeit exciting, play from starting the season 0-1. And while I am grateful for any play that elicits an on-air orgasm by Gus Johnson, I can help but wonder how fast the Broncos season would have unraveled if they had lost that game. Of course they didn't lose that game and they have gone on to beat the Patriots and Chargers in back-to-back weeks, so maybe I am wrong. But I have seen the Broncos collapse too many times to give you any optimism here.

4.New York Giants (5-1)

MLC: I think everyone expected a pretty close game between the Saints and Giants, so it was a pretty big shock to see the Boys in Blue get killed.  The shocking thing was, it wasn't fluky or weird, it was a legitimate big win.  The O-Line protected Brees and he threw all over the vaunted Giants D.  Right now the G-Men look like they can beat anyone except for the Saints and Colts.  So it's probably a toss up between them and...

JNG: The Giants either got exposed against the Saints or the Saints are just that good. I'll lean towards the latter. The Giants are a well-rounded and disciplined football team that will rarely beat themselves. They'll run away with a weak NFC East no questions asked.
 

3.Minnesota Vikings (6-0)

MLC: This team made the playoffs last year with Gus Frerotte as its QB.  Say what you will about Brett Favre, but he's damn sure better than a guy who is most famous for jamming his neck during a TD celebration (Redskins fans feel my pain).  Jared Allen is an absolute force on the D-Line too.  This team does not look unbeatable, but they look better than most of the teams they'll play.

JNG: The 2009 Vikings are pretty damn good. They can beat you in a number of ways. Both their defensive and offensive units are without any glaring weaknesses. Adrian Peterson is Adrian Peterson. Percy Harvin and Sydney Rice are exciting, young receivers with great futures. Jared Allen is toying with offensive linemen like a man possessed. Who am I missing?

Ah, yes #4. I have followed Brett Favre since my age was still in single digits. I am 23 now and the guy still hasn't missed a start since I was learning cursive. I cannot believe it. Part of me thinks his arm will tire, the magic will wear off and he'll have one of his token 3 or 4 interception games where he single handedly kills his team. But a bigger part of me doesn't see that happening. The Vikings have enough weapons to leave the load on Favre's shoulders relatively light.

And as evidenced in that 'He didn't just do that..HOLY SHIT HE JUST DID THAT!' touchdown throw to win the 49ers game, the old man can still carry the load when he has to. Most importantly, as Bill Simmons would tell you, he still has fun doing it.

2. Indianapolis Colts (5-0)

MLC:  I think the bye week came at a bad time for this team.  It took a few weeks, but Austin Collie is becoming a latter day saint...well he's already one of those...I mean he's becoming a latter day Brandon Stokely/Wes Welker type.  Manning now has him, Pierre Garcon, and Reggie Wayne.  They do need to run the ball better, but with as Peyton Manning proved against Miami, time of possession and a running game can be totally overrated.

JNG: Peyton Manning is about as good a quarterback as I will ever see. Ever. Regardless of his supporting cast, you can bet on his team finishing with double digit totals in the wins column and an appearance in to the playoffs. 

That's where things get tricky. With only 1 Super Bowl victory in all those appearances, you got to think Peyton is downright desperate for one, if not a few, more rings. His team's are always good just based on the fact he is on him, but luckily this year his cast seems good enough to add to his greatness.

1. New Orleans Saints (5-0)

MLC:  Drew Brees looks like a Hall of Famer.  Pierre Thomas is healthy and gives them a solid running game.  The defense withstood a tough test from a good Giant offense.  I would put this team up against anyone in the NFL right now.  

JNG: When I was growing up my grandfather was the football announcer and long standing patron (my dad, uncle and aunt all went there) for a local high school, the Hermitage Panthers. My dad and I used to go to the games on Friday nights and sit in the box with him. Sometimes he would let me sit on his lap and say a thing or two over the loudspeaker, which when you are young is a very big deal. After the games he would go down on the field and mingle with all the players who from my point of view at the time all seemed to adore and respect him. These were some of my first sports memories.

In the early 90s I was at one of these games, in the box, and I vaguely recall all the members of the box gushing over one of the Panthers players, touting his future. Obviously, you are very curious, and very annoying when you are young. I must have bugged my grandfather about it all game because when the horn sounded he grabbed my hand and took me directly to the field to the meet the player being swooned over. I don't remember any specifics, but I remember the moment. The player: Darren Sharper. 

All these years later and Sharper is leading the rejuventated Saints defense as well as leading the league in interceptions. Call me a bandwagon fan, but I'll be pulling for him and the Saints all year long.

Sharpers plaque hangs on the wall at the Hermitage High Wall of Fame....right next to my grandfathers.