Intro: Mitch Carr: It's About Time We Did This

"Let me just start by saying one thing: I like poking broads."

Now for those of you who don't know, that's a line from one of the greatest Saturday Night Live skits of all time, so I thought it would be a good way to introduce myself.  For those of you who do recognize it, NAVY SEALS!!!

It's not everyday a writer begins with a digression, but that's just kind of the way I am.  I meander in and out of my article, taking breaks to say the random little things that cross my mind while I'm writing.  When you read the whole thing, you get the whole picture.

So why would I want to write a sports column that possibly no one will read for free in my spare time? Well, quite simply, sports is life to me.  I made a decision a long time ago that if I could never become a professional athlete, I'd have to do whatever I could to stay as close to sports as possible.  Considering I'm 6'2" and never clocked a 40 lower than 5-flat, the professional athlete thing was out.  It didn't help that Newman ran me over with his car when we were sophomores in high school.  I have the scar to prove it.  So with pro sports out, I chose journalism.  I'm a news reporter for KLBK, a television station in Lubbock, Texas.  Maybe one day I'll be the local sports guy somewhere, but for now, I need an outlet for my sports-based opinions.  That's why I talk to Newman all the time about whatever is going on in the sports world.  And that's why we started this website.

My views on sports issues are neither complex nor guarded.  I am a blunt, black or white guy when it comes to my opinions, and I'm not shy about letting them out.  Ask the women in my life how good I am at politely addressing issues.  Like John Daly, I grip it and I rip it, and if you read me for any amount of time you'll see I don't really waffle.

I have a lot of opinions that you've heard: college football needs a playoff, baseball either needs a DH in both leagues or not at all, the Yankees and Red Sox can both lick my balls.  I also have a lot of opinions that you may not have heard before: former Georgetown coach Craig Esherick looks like the illegitimate love child of Adolf Hitler and Vincente Fox (google that shit), Tim Tebow and Urban Meyer are definitely banging each other, and soccer players are the biggest bunch of girls I've ever seen (really, I think Cristiano Ronaldo needs a tampon).

I love all sports.  Except for figure skating.  That shit sucks.  I also love to write.  My biggest hope is, you'll love to read.